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This week, a Kisii court ordered a woman to pay back her ex-husband part of the money he had invested in her. The man accused his wife of unfaithfulness. (Read: Adulterous wife in Kenya to refund kids fees, dowry to husband amounting to Sh205,000)
The court ordered Ms Evelyne Kerubo to pay her ex-husband, Mr James Mayaka, a total of Sh 205,000, which is part of what her husband spent on her college fees (Sh 209,000) and bride price (Sh120,000).
The payment had totalled Sh164,000 but the court factored in interest to arrive at the Sh205,000.
Jesus Christ! What has the world come to? Since when did women start paying back the money invested in them by their husbands?
Listen men, I don’t care what the law of Kenya says, but I know what the law of nature dictates. A real man should and must take care of his woman or women. I cannot emphasise that.
Ladies, it is the duty of the man in your life to take care of you.
He should pay your dowry; your rent; buy you a nice house; keep an emergency fund for you incase he drops dead unexpectedly; buy your heels and dresses; give you money to send to your mother; do your monthly shopping and buy you a good car, fuel and service it.
That is not all. He should pay for your Masters’ degree, and educate your children in those schools that host presidential debates; not those that act as polling station.
NOBLE HUSBAND
The mark of a real man lies not in his ability to sire children, but in his ability to take care of his woman.
Every woman with a man in her life should be able to sleep soundly for eight straight hours because she has the peace of mind, knowing that all has been taken care of.
I love Kikuyu weddings, mainly because we sing these wonderful songs about how men should treat their women. There is a particular song that I like, and it goes:
Mùthúri ngatha niamenyagerera…múka wake. Akamúhúba wega agathakara… akagema. Akamúhúnia wega agatúgúha…akanora. (A noble husband takes care of his wife. He dresses her well, until she looks beautiful and gorgeous. He feeds her well until she is healthy and fat).
I don’t understand why some men would ask their women to not only chip in with the household expenses, but also to pay them alimony after they have divorced. Alimony to who and for what?
If I was to get married, I would never spend my coin on anything that my husband is supposed to cater for. Not because I am a mean girl, but because I wouldn’t want to downplay my husband’s manhood.
A man’s ego is sensitive and I am not about to bruise my husband’s ego by pretending that I am all ‘Miss Independent’ by taking a mortgage and helping him in paying school fees.
I am going to let him be a man and let him take care of his family and spoil his wife.
And if we were to get divorced – say he finally left me for his secretary who is 20 years younger or he probably caught me cheating with the pool boy, we would square it out like Africans.
TIDY MONTHLY SUM
I would accept a quiet divorce. I would gladly accept a tidy monthly sum of money as alimony to keep me and my offspring afloat before I get my groove back, and bounce back to the dating scene like a hot-blooded 18-year old.
Real men don’t take alimony from their wives. Even if they are cheated on, hurt, and their egos bruised, real men just don’t take money from a woman.
Real men don’t borrow money from women. They don’t drive their women’s Vitz and Polos and they don’t sniff through their wives purses looking for money.
If a real man is cheated on by his wife and he decides to divorce, he will not ask back for the millions – probably tens of millions – he invested in her.
He will not ask for the Range Rover Vogue back. He will not ask for the house keys. He will move into a furnished apartment as he gets back on his feet.
He will not change the names on the title deed and neither will he change his will. He will contact his lawyer to find a way out.
He will make sure that woman who once loved him; the mother of his children; the woman who went through hours upon excruciating hours of labour to pop their children is comfortable, irrespective of how messy the divorce was.
Even if you found her in bed with the driver, the shamba boy, watchman or cook, a real man will take it like a gladiator; stoically and courageously, without crying in court like a little boy who has been snatched his toy car. A real man will let go and move on.
Are you a real man?
By Njeri Chege. The article was originally published on nairobinews.co.ke
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That would be a satire marriage or what?
Wow, satire at it's best. Unfortunately, many won't recognize the humor and will take everything in it's literal form.
Literature aside, why on earth should men be paying dowry in this 21st Century? Thought institutionalized prostitution is a thing of the past and out of fashion. I have always regarded dowry as a lumpsum compensation a man pays for sex in the course of the marriage usually paid at the start of the marriage. This is after scratching my head trying to justify the payment and finding no answer. Once I told my prospective in-laws about dowry being prostitution (indirectly of course, through a relative-in-law to-be) and boy, did I get a "thrashing"! Can somebody give me a pragmatic reason why dowry was or is payable at marriage.....and I don't wanna hear winded stories about how a man should appreciate a well raised woman (as if he himself was raised by a pack of baboons)
Traditions are practiced but may not be practical in 21st centuary sense. On a light note (from a junior clan elder), if you seek empirical justification for most matters of marriage, you may go unmarried for a long time!
This is fiction because more than 97% of the people who go through divorce are so bitter and cannot stand their EX’s even mentioning the name of their EX’s make them sick to the stomach. 2nd if your spouse get you red handed cheating emergency room & ICU will be your next bedroom.
Dowy may have been necessary in the yester-years. Actually what aman paid in the form of dowry and got was, acook, amaid, afarmer,acleaning lady, washing lady, a nurse...to name afew benefits.Now days with the advent of cookers,stoves,washers,maids for afee...etc.Any payment of dowry today yields diminishing returns on your investment.
I do not agree with Mlachake that dowry was/is considered as institutionalized prostitution,for prostitution entails sex for money and that's the end of the contract for the performer. And the next in line customer is intertained.And the process repeats its self... See if you call your wife aprostitute then -Joe six pack-has aright to mount her as well. Are you ok with that? If so then I have no issue with that.
However, Mlachake, you raise avery interesting question. If the marriage did,or does not include sex ,how many would pay dowry? We have all head of sexless marriages...Certainly I would not:)
If trully giving is more blessed that receiving, nobody would even think of ing a "property".
Like it or not, -come we stay- is the closest areal equal marriage comes close to.Here usually their is no buy any one,the couple willingly stay together,hopefuly for "ever.If hot happy with the union, less complications in starting over.I endorse this union,and I see it called marriage if future.Not purchase.No hire.No dowry no refund.
Njeri:
Sounds like you will be single for a very long time. Good luck.