Drama as Kenyan Woman Takes Off with Daughter's Dowry, Leaving Elders Baffled
Drama unfolded at a dowry ceremony in Garsen, Tana River County after the mother of the wife-to-be took off with her daughter’s bride price.
Anne Maweni secretly left the ceremony with the bride price amounting to Sh170,000 over fears that her kinsmen would short-change her. Efforts to reach her via phone were futile she had switched it off.
“During the ceremony, she is the one who served the guests and elders food but did not join them on the table. Nobody knew what time she left,” her sister Veronica Meilu said.
Elders and in-laws attending the ceremony realized something was amiss after she used another phone number to send an SMS to her sister asking her to oversee the remainder of the ceremony.
“I was not aware of my sister’s plans, but here I was being put to task, to explain how we stole the dowry and where my sister was,” said Meilu.
Maweni later called her sister and instructed her to put the phone on a loudspeaker for her to explain her actions.
“She asked me to put the phone on loudspeaker before revealing that the dowry ‘theft’ was a plan she had hatched with the son-in-law before the ceremony,” Meilu told Nation.
Maweni explained that she swapped the bag containing the bride price with one that had wrappers.
“Yes, we counted the money together but we exchanged the bag containing money with that holding wrappers because the elders are not deserving of any gains from my daughter,” she told the gathering via phone.
She recalled how her kinsmen abandoned her after the death of her husband, leaving her with two children, a five-year-old girl, and a two-year-old boy.
“After the demise of my husband, you sent me away with nothing but my daughter. You took my son away, and he later died in your hands. Then, you said that the community had no use for a girl child,” she told the elders on phone.
“I have left you with female wrappers to wear since you did not stand for a widow, at her time of need.”
The widow promised to send some cash to one of the elders who supported her during her tribulations and for standing in for her daughter’s marriage ceremony.
“Mzee Bajila, you are like a father to me and witnessed the atrocities against me. You fought for me in vain. So only you, deserve a portion of this money,” she said and hung up.
Comments
Well said.....
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Well said.....
That is a good plan. May the…
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That is a good plan.
May the marriage stay strong and fruitul.
She did the best. She raised…
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She did the best. She raised her daughter alone. Good luck mama. You deserve every penny.
Some of these Villagers are…
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In reply to She did the best. She raised… by Kora kanini (not verified)
Some of these Villagers are Criminals with Mouths wide Open to Reap where the did not SOW.
Might take months,even years…
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Might take months,even years,but its coming...Hell knows know fury like a scorned woman.
Fake elders aka parasites…
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Fake elders aka parasites. Good for you mother of the bride.
Single mothers and widows…
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Single mothers and widows who have struggled to raise and educate their children in the absence of those so called elders and relatives should emulate this brave woman when it comes to harvesting time.
Smart woman!
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Smart woman!
Paying down for Dowry is…
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Paying down for Dowry is like buying a sex slave for life.
They should outlaw the…
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In reply to Paying down for Dowry is… by Tasfiri hii (not verified)
They should outlaw the buying and selling of women.This "slavery" should be abolished.
The practice may have been valid at one time,when women stayed home with the kids, cooked for the man, washed his clothes,made love to him anytime he wanted,and could even chase her away if she did not bear sons.Not to mention that it was always awoman's fault when she does not get pregnant.All this was a result of male dominance. I even wonder how women let it happen.Was is because of muscle?
Yes those days are lone gone. A wife is not a slave.Nor is she a property. She is as much human as the male homosapien.With equal human rights.
Nonsense. Your bastardized…
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In reply to They should outlaw the… by Maxiley (not verified)
Nonsense. Your bastardized view of dowries betrays a lack of research and study of your history. Only Africans are bellowing about 'dowry is slavery', while other people carry on with their cultures, adapting and enriching. There is NOTHING wrong with dowry payment...
Research not needed.Just…
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In reply to Nonsense. Your bastardized… by Seneca (not verified)
Research not needed.Just tell me the validity of buying a woman for a wife.I said may have been reasonable at one point.We are talking of humanity here.Marriage is not commerce;however way you slice it.Dowry is buying and selling of human beings under the guise of culture.
Time to discard retrogressive customs,and cultures.Iam glad female genitalia mutilation is against the law.Dont you?I hope so.
Maxi priest, again you…
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In reply to Research not needed.Just… by Maxiley (not verified)
Maxi priest, again you missing the point. You're essentially taking an African custom and applying your western thinking and then framing to come up with a distorted narrative. Let me repeat n make it clear - YOU ARE NOT BUYING YOUR WIFE. Allow me to point out a few salient scenarios 1) Some tribes traditionally view nurturing and culture highly. Someone had to teach your wife the ways, norms and also domestic roles and responsibility that you would enjoy as she is your domestic partner and eventually mama watoto. This was valued and a way to reward the household of origin for all that preparative work they did in order for you to be attracted to what you now see as wifey-material. 2) Someone had to take care, feed and protect your main squeeze long before you even had desires to sire. In other words the 2 or 3 decades required investing a lot of resources to make that possible. This was a societal payment or "tax" to recognize that . After all virtually no tribes marry from their own household so you couldnt do that in-house. and finally 3) It was a goodwill gesture and way to address the psychological "loss" of their family member as she now went away to multiply. Unlike bahindi, we dont co-exist in 1 house. Comparatively Id advice your to pay the MOST for dowry and least for wedding expenses. Why? In my mind the family/community benefits from your hard cash NOT these wedding industry leaches the western world advocates. Paying ridiculous $$ for diamond rings, 1 time dresses and ornaments is just a quick way to get broke or indebted like US are. Am not even factoring the 50% divorce rate there. Do some reading and dont be so closed minded. It helps enlighten you unless you are just here trolling for white "progressive" cultures in which case we will never agree.
what do you make up of some…
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In reply to Nonsense. Your bastardized… by Seneca (not verified)
what do you make up of some cultures where it is the women who buys all furniture and household utensils
would you do it for your daughter? i think NOT but that is what the Dutch and belgians do - the money hires/buys the house and the woman takes care of al what is needed . Maxiley is right women are not property . In Kenya constitution we have same rights . break away from the past and walk with the time
What exactly is the dowry…
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In reply to Nonsense. Your bastardized… by Seneca (not verified)
What exactly is the dowry paying for...?In your family do you treat sons,and daughters with equal measure of nurture, education,wealth,and overall welfare? if Not you should.
Conditions under which dowry was paid are no longer in existence.We are just hanging on to customs that are quickly passing away because its habit from generations,much like circumcision.
Come we stay is good enough for me.
go woman and god guide you,…
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go woman and god guide you, May your daughters marriage be blessed and fruitful
YA! what right do the elders…
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In reply to go woman and god guide you,… by alice nyawira … (not verified)
YA! what right do the elders have on someone's child and espcially this one who they chased away? Smart woman . Have these elders ever shared with her their own dowries- i forgot to say even the dutch/belgian culture is dead those fathers who want to contribute for their daughters do otherwise the young couple struggle together to make a home.
In many other countries…
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In many other countries including the USA, its the bride (wife to be) and her family who pay ‘dowry’ ro the man in terms of financing the wedding, paying for all celebration food drinks etc, gifts to the mans family, gifts to the new family etc. Dowries are not mandated legally. Only the marriage certificate is the proof of legal union. Dowry is just an optional form of appreciation, a tradition that you can choose to ignore if it doesn’t serve you as a couple purposes. Even if the villagers choose to lani/curse you, lana haishiki siku hizi. Just ignore these relatives. After all relatives have been the main parasites thinking they are entitled to the proceeds of their hardworking folks domiciled abroad. To hell with them if all they bring on is stress and misery to your life as a couple. Just elope!!!
And you wonder why divorce…
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In reply to In many other countries… by Kimpembe (not verified)
And you wonder why divorce rates are high...you reduce this great event of bringing communities together as 'laana' haishiki; because you are civilized.You watch Jews closely, they run the world...and are stuck on their culture and life's lessons. I don't know who your ancestors are, but spedning time with them would have helped...alot.
Great job mama they don't…
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Great job mama they don't deserve ng'oo. How does one harvest from where they did not plant?. I respect the traditions but it's not fair for women to struggle raising their children single handedly then the so called elders and uncles will be beneficiaries just because the custom dictate so. Some of these traditions sucks and should be done away with nkt!
Oh ye colonized, enslaved…
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Oh ye colonized, enslaved and misguided souls. Retrogressive practices you say? With all the broken families left and right, men and women who look to courts to arrange 'visitation' rights; totally incapable of reasoning, selfish and mentally weak progeny...you call that progressive? I am a proud supporter of dowry and have no problem with FGM and those who want it. You have allowed criminalization of traditions that held together African units and swapped them for hollow empty lives - reduced to chasing skirts/trousers as if that defines a marriage. Allow people the autonomy to choose. I proudly come from a community that practices male circumcision every even year and follows dowry payment. British/American/Icelandic spouses have made trips to meet our ancestors and follow tradition. Sitasumbuliwa hapa na Confused Africans afflicted with 'arrested development' due inferiority issues. The dutch are doing their thing...let them. I'd give you a lesson on the purpose of a dowry, but I will not waste my time on people who oppose what they have not studied well. FYI, once you get that marriage certificate, your union is a commercial enterprise. Why do you get it if you are not 'doing business'? Your colonized mind tells you that is more civilized that honoring your own traditions.
Thank you Seneca. A lot of…
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In reply to Oh ye colonized, enslaved… by Seneca (not verified)
Thank you Seneca.
A lot of loud empty debes out here betraying their colonial mindset. No wonder the direction our community is going, its just a bunch of uncle Toms ignoring their history and "preaching" what their masters tell them with little critical thought. I too stand for all indigenous people and THEIR right to practice THEIR own chosen customs, norms and lifestyles. That is what our forefathers from coast Ronald Ngala, to central- Dedan Kimathi and Mau Mau, to Rift Valley Koitalel Arap Samoei and Western King Kabarega fought for. I always laugh at those "civilized" who try so hard to please white man ati FGM is illegal, yet ignoring the mzungus who are coming out saying MGM was bad for them. We are seeing these foreign institutions slowly crumble though. Wazungus are coming out now saying how they were deeply tramautized by these Catholic predators and denouncing these beliefs. Truth will come out too in Africa on the role these guys played in colonizing and violating African societies and it will be game over. Already in South America, Pacific Asia, India and even Australia many indigenous are starting to assert themselves. We need to do so quickly too.
Elders looking to harvest…
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Elders looking to harvest where they haven’t planted!
Great move Mama! Looks like you have a great son-in-law too!
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