So You Found Mr. Right Online? You Are Better Off with the Mafisi You Know

I recently came across a clip of a Kenyan woman warning fellow women against falling into the traps of these tall, dark and handsome men, especially from West Africa.

Wait, did I say say tall and dark? No I meant short and artificially brown! The woman’s friend had allegedly met her ‘Mr Right’ on a dating site.

It was not the first case I came across of men from this region sweeping our women off their feet before sweeping their accounts as well. I will not judge these men, and neither will I judge our women, but I will just sit here holding my chin in my palms wondering why we never learn.

Kenyan women are all over dating sites. Have our men pushed us that far? We no longer want to deal with a bird in the hand. We prefer the two in the bush. These dating sites have their pros and cons but because of the desperation in us, we are blind to the cons. We imagine that the Toms, Dicks and Harrys online have fallen head over heels in love with us!

Sweetheart, open your eyes and open them wide! Do not be part of the statistics. This brand ‘Mafisi Sacco’ is all over the world. Before you believe the true lies told to you over the internet, sit down and ask yourself ‘What if?’

My heart bleeds - no wait a minute —  it doesn’t bleed, it chokes (with giggles) every time I hear a woman claiming to have met her match on a dating site having never even heard his voice! That’s exactly how we fall into these traps. Why do we always have to believe anything we are told online by people we have never met?

What makes you think I cannot sit behind the keyboard and insist I am a white man in New York and chat with you using expressions like, “I wanna, I’m gonna, you feel me.” I could be somewhere in a cyber cafe in the innermost part of Africa planning how to sweep your account clean!

Before you rush into the ‘arms’ of these men, just make sure what you see is what you get.

Some women are quick to accept invitations to fly all the way to other countries to meet their ‘future husbands’ physically for the first time.

You try pumping some sense into their excited brains and they become rebellious, accusing you of being jealous of them! One friend even told me to my face that I did not want her to have a mixed race child and that is why I was against her going on a blind date on another continent.

Seriously? Race to me is a non-issue...your safety comes first. Like I said, Mafisi Sacco out there is on another level. You are better off with the ‘Hyenas’ you know because you can track them to their mothers’ wombs if possible. If you are not ready to take your sweet time and learn your partner, please be ready for the consequences of your actions.

Before you rush to pack and leave your country for ‘greener pastures’ on love with no clear direction, just keep in mind that if the grass looks greener on the other side, the water bill is most likely higher. Be a sister’s keeper and let’s save our women from heartbreaks and ‘bankbreaks’.

Stop flocking the dating sites like wildebeest on migration. Remember, not all wildebeests get safely on the other side of the river. They are maimed and wounded by crocodiles and other wild animals. In your case, hyenas are patiently sitting behind keyboards and planning how to pounce on you.

To our sisters who have been lucky on dating sites, praise your God and teach us the way. Keep safe this Easter, do not fall victim. Happy Easter to all single ladies on search mode!

By Beryl Wanga Itindi

Article originally published on standardmedia.co.ke