Mzee Moja Diary: My Imported Husband Has Turned Against Me, What Now?

I will tell this episode as verbatim as was told to me by Kajuju, my neighbor in the suburb where I live.

“When my biological clock started yelling at me, I had to take matters in my own hands. All my girlfriends were married or were in serious relationships. I got tired always going to baby showers of girls, some who were younger than me. Every time I called home, my mother would never fail to remind me that at 32, I ought to be somebody’s jiko.

But who could blame me? I was a staunch, good Catholic Church girl. I could recite the first five pages of Mitha Mugikuyu off head. I said my Hail Mary’s every morning. I trusted that any jamaa out there would be attracted to this beautiful girl, well educated, having my own house, driving my nice car, well into my Nurse Practitioner career.

Who would not want to be dating and eventually getting me as their rib? But wapi! Little did I know that my success was my undoing. The many guys I knew both in church and outside seemed to be scared that if they asked me out, I would not be humble enough to be their girlfriend.

I felt like the main character in the TV series “Being Mary J,” successful but going home to a cold, empty house. You have no idea how many times I went out and seeing all those hunks and none were looking my way.

Until one vacation to Jamhuri three years ago changed all that.

There is this jamaa who was showing some interest in me when I attended Kikuyu Campus for my Bachelor’s Degree. I never gave him much thought since I was busy with YCS and chasing my first class honors.

But when I met him three years ago in Meru, he appeared well groomed and a good gentleman. By then he was a deputy principal of a local high school. After a short discussion, we both discovered that we were still hunting for the elusive better half. BINGO!

One thing led to another. To cut the long story short, by the end of that year, we were man and wife, living in my house. Marital bliss at its best! Uhiki wi murio!

But you know the USA is not a respecter of your Deputy Principal position back in Kenya, right? My man could not find a decent job here. The jobs available for him were night guard, store clerk, gas station attendant and the like. He could take none of it.

I think men are wired to be the providers. Am I right? So when my man found himself depending on me for everything, I guess it did not augur well with his ego. I mean, if I was the one and my husband was making enough, I would sit down, eat and relax. Maybe take my time, re-tool myself and get the academic papers pole pole.

But men, men are not like us ladies. After sitting in the house for one month, two months, boredom got into my man. He started drinking all the wine in the fridge. Then he went to the liquor store for more. Before long, he started using curse words saying that he it was better while he was in Kenya. Kweli ya Mungu ni Mengi Mzee Moja

I promised to help him 110 percent to enroll in any degree course he desired. Actually he applied and was accepted in a State University for a Project Management Graduate Degree. And I helped him to get a small used car, he even got some financial aid. Life went on.

But my man is not changing. He still has the African man Simba mentality. He still believes that it is taboo for a man to depend on his wife. That it is wrong for a wife to be better off than the husband.

We now quarrel most of the time. Yet I still love him. He has the potential to change. Will you talk to him and see if he can begin steering in the right direction?”

By Mzee Moja