Why More Kenyan Women Are Choosing Companionship in Pets Over Raising Children

An increasing number of Kenyan women are opting for pet ownership over traditional motherhood, challenging long-held societal expectations and redefining the concept of female fulfilment. 

This trend reflects a complex interplay of economic factors, career aspirations, evolving social dynamics, and a growing disillusionment with conventional family structures. Traditionally, Kenyan society has placed immense value on motherhood as a defining milestone for women, often equating a woman's worth with her ability to bear and raise children. However, a quiet revolution is underway as more women prioritise their careers, independence, and personal satisfaction, finding companionship and purpose in pets rather than offspring.

The Rise of Pet-Centric Lifestyles

For many of these women, cats and dogs are more than mere companions; they are cherished family members who bring joy, comfort, and a profound sense of fulfilment. They are redefining what it means to lead a meaningful life outside of motherhood. The growing popularity of pet ownership is also transforming industries, with an increasing number of businesses catering to pet owners through specialised veterinary services, pet grooming salons, and premium pet food brands.

Individual Choices, Broader Trends

The experiences of Jane Njeri and Eva Mutua offer compelling insights into this evolving trend. Both women made conscious decisions to prioritise pet ownership over motherhood, driven by personal circumstances and a reevaluation of traditional expectations. Jane Njeri, a university professor, initially envisioned a traditional life of marriage and children. However, as she pursued postgraduate studies and advanced in her academic career, she found herself growing more content with her choices. 

"I realised that children are not always the blessing people romanticise them to be," Jane reflects. "Through my years of working with young people, I have seen firsthand how draining and demanding they can be. Many parents complain about their children, often eagerly anticipating school breaks so they can be free from parenting duties. This made me question whether I needed children in my life."

Today, Jane's life revolves around her nine cats. She carefully plans their meals, ensuring they are well-fed and cared for. During the pandemic, while many battled isolation, she found solace in her pets. "I never felt lonely. My cats were there, offering comfort, companionship, and a stress-free existence."

While Jane acknowledges fleeting moments of longing when she sees parents sharing happy moments with their children, she insists that the feeling is neither overwhelming nor regretful. "I would consider having children if I found the right partner, but if that never happens, I am content."

For Eva Mutua, a lawyer, the decision not to have children was deeply personal and shaped by life experiences. Having grown up on a farm, she found companionship in animals from an early age. Her love for pets solidified after the passing of her mother, a loss that left her grappling with loneliness. Two years after her mother’s death, Eva found solace in three dogs—Max, Joe, and Ruby. The bond she developed with them was profound. 

"Initially, I didn’t want pets because I feared the grief of losing them," she admits. "But when I finally welcomed them into my life, I realised how much happiness they brought me."

Eva’s journey, much like Jane’s, diverged from the traditional path. Her meticulous life plan—which included marriage by 28 and motherhood by 32—did not materialise as expected. After completing her studies in India and the UK, she returned to Kenya only to realise that relationships were more complicated than anticipated.

"I experienced heartbreak and struggled to find someone who aligned with my values," she shares. "I ultimately made peace with not having children."

While Eva enjoys interacting with children, she firmly maintains that raising them is a responsibility she is unwilling to take on. "Children are not toys that you can tire of. Parenthood is a lifelong commitment, and I knew it was not for me."

Societal Resistance and Evolving Attitudes

Despite the growing acceptance of alternative lifestyles, women who choose pets over motherhood often face scrutiny and judgment from family members and peers. Jane and Eva's experiences illustrate the tension between personal contentment and societal expectations. Jane had to defend her stance, particularly to her mother, who struggled to understand her commitment to her nine cats. 

“She often tells me she wishes I loved her as much as I love my cats,” Jane says with a smile. “But my siblings are much more accepting of my choices.”

Unlike Jane, Eva faced less societal pressure. Her mother was supportive, often defending her choice against those who insisted she should become a mother. “She would tell people that if I had a child, she would end up being the one taking care of it,” Eva recalls.

Economic and Social Factors

The increasing cost of raising children, coupled with the desire for greater economic independence, is a significant factor driving this trend. Raising children requires an immense emotional, financial, and time investment, while pets provide companionship with relatively fewer demands. In addition, changing social dynamics and disillusionment with traditional family structures have contributed to the transformation. Many women are choosing to prioritise their careers and personal growth, viewing motherhood as a potential obstacle to their ambitions.

The silent rebellion of women choosing pets over children is paving the way for diverse narratives on womanhood. The conversation is no longer about whether motherhood is the ultimate goal but rather about individual agency, the freedom to define fulfilment in one's own way. This shift reflects a broader global trend as women around the world challenge traditional gender roles and embrace alternative lifestyles that align with their personal values and aspirations.