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So my gang and I planned out a trip to Las Vegas. Seeing as it was going to be a first time experience, I was excited. Looking forward to seeing all that is Vegas, or try to.
So on the day off, I barely slept through the night. I had worked a 12-hour day shift and had to come home to commence with my packing. Yall know how we women do this, a 4-day trip and I packed like I was going to be there for 2 weeks. I woke up in the morning to leave my car at my friends place and then we Ubered to the airport. I could have Ubered by myself; however the increased incidents of crea crea individuals posing as Uber drivers worried me. So we leave on time... NOT.... someone couldnt find her keys. But we eventually leave and it must have been the tacos I had for lunch the previous day that did me in. Because I started to throw up and for a moment (only for a moment), I thought of cancelling the trip. Even with my partners concern of my condition at that point I figured, I would get over it. Which I did, I really think the alcohol consumption that took place whilst I was there, had something to do with it though....
So we arrive, check into our respective rooms. Nice, first night was a breeze we walked the streets of Las Vegas, watched all the different acts. This guy on a violin playing to hip hop got me.....awesome. We had dinner and hit the Kenyan shindig night scene, it was easy no drama, ubered back to our hotel. Lovely.
Come the next morning, we all agreed to meet up at the slots machine. So as I was walking towards my friends the next morning, this guy comes running towards me. By that time I had just got to where my friends were, he calls out for me. Excuse me, so I turn around.
Him: I just wanted to say hey
Me: Hey (as I turn around to talk to my friends)
Him: Excuse me
Me: Yes
Him: I just wanted to get to know you
Me: (by this time I have a frown on my face) am sorry, what now?
Him: What are you doing later on tonight?
Me: (if you know me, you already know am losing my patience with this dude) I’ll be hanging out with my friends
Him: I just wanted to get to know you better, are you married?
Me : (I have more facial expressions than I know what to do with so by know he should have guessed that I wasn’t interested.. or NOT) No, but I have a boyfriend.
Him: Oh so when are you breaking up with him?
Me: For what? You? (As I say this I give him the head to toe look, turn around and totally ignore him. Which should have been the first thing I did to begin with?)
So we hang out that day, the night wasn’t all that pleasant. As we tried to hit the Kenyan scene, note to self. It gets to a certain age where getting in line to go see an artist I know nothing about it is just not in my cards. We head back to the hotel for a couple of night caps and finally I call it a night. Some hit the slot machine; I for one find it boring because I never win. And the last thing I want to be leaving behind is my money….
So am walking to the escalators, then I see someone running towards me from my peripheral. I turn around thinking it was someone I know (I mean why else would anyone be running after a total stranger)…
Him: Hey sasa…
Me: (im a little tipsy, either that or I just chose to not hear what he had to say) Am sorry???
Him: Sema (at this point and time I have decided to feign a lack of knowledge in Swahili….
Me: What you say know….. (so know am irritated, what in Gods name is wrong with these Kenyan men, they see a female who resembles a Kenyan female and we are all up for grabs or what is it)
Him: Ulikuwa unaenda kulala??
Me: (thinking in my head….ofcourse not, I was heading up my hotel room at 0200 hours to go for a swim)…. What do you want??
Him: Nilikuwa nataka kukusindikisha kwa room yako tukajuane…
Me: (Do you notice how up until now this guy has not caught on to the fact that I only respond in English. So I really wanna curse this moron out… Lawd help me) what is it man? (Am told that, I sometimes come across with an Akata accent. And yes at certain points and time I to choose to go that route. Hey it’s not my fault I can switch it off and on)
Him: Oh am sorry I thought you were Kenyan…
Me: (I just turn around and walk away)
Seriously since when was it ok for most Kenyan men, to lack such respect for Kenyan women. Don’t get me wrong I understand that it is a 2 sided coin. Because ladies a man will only get away with as much as you let him. And I’ll be damned if I get disrespected because most of us Kenyan women are willing to be treated in such a disgusting manner…..
By Day 3, its official I want nothing to do with anything that is Kenyan for the rest of my stay in Vegas, if I don’t know you keep it moving.
As usual our routine is to go out during the day and tour the city. So evening comes and am ready to step out and have some fun, experience Las Vegas at night. So we all dress up, hit the night spots. Have a ball and come back home, no drama at all. We get back and because we, the ladies were not sleepy we decided to hit the slot machines and hang out and just talk.
Y’all know how it goes my feet were on fire, the walking we had been doing during the day and the stiletto at night was killing my feet. So I took them off…… we were at the 1c slots as usual.
This guy walks by us and asks
Him: Mangapi, madame leo usiku? (First things first that slang is so old I understand it)
Me: (by now I have just about had enough of this bs) What the “f†did you say?
Him: (turns out there were some Kenyan ladies seated at the next slot machines and they burst out laughing. So I guess the man wanted to save face and regain his manhood. So he turns around and comes for me)
Me: (don’t you know you don’t come for me, unless I call for you. So I see him coming and I stand up off the chair…….darn it. I had taken my shoes off, so he stands taller than me. Am pissed off right now, you insulted us then because some females laughed at you, you thought you could intimidate me with you presence. Honey try again, I don’t intimidate that easy. So am going off at this time, my friend is busy telling the guy that I am Akata…… and don’t give a fuck. At that moment, I didn’t really give a damn. And if the cops were to roll up guess what I was cool with that after all, there were cameras all around us. So am still hollering at this moron….. I guess he finally realized I wasn’t going to stop. And I truly sounded and acted like an Akata and he would probably be the loser and he walked away…….
So heres my question. When did it become okay for these Kenyan men to talk to us in this manner, address us in this way, and disrespect us like they do? Then turn around and give another female from a different race and nationality more respect than they give us? Yet the same Kenyan men have Kenyan sisters, friends, mothers, cousins, aunties.
Am perturbed, I don’t get it.
But I see it, when we have some of us women throw ourselves at these men under the guise of, I was drunk…
Stand by and say nothing when we see them disrespect another woman in our presence….
Laugh with them as they act like Neanderthals, cat calling women (then again I think they acted way better) or even have the audacity to hit on a man surrounded by other women in a group, with the intention of distracting the women the man is with as her friend reels in the prey (prey being the man who actually has a girlfriend right there).
If we don’t even respect ourselves as Kenyan women, how do we expect the men to respect us? We make it hard for the women who actually have scruples, respect, decency and pride.
These women who sit at the bar from dusk to dawn and think its cool, so drunk you barely can walk. Trying to attract all these men, who all they want to do is, use you and dump your nasty behind; I don’t understand why you would let a man who would go around hitting on anything in a skirt any where near your poom poom.
I just don’t get it…
I finally understand what the term “Team Mafisi†applies to….
Clearly the Kenyan Vegas experience has a different meaning from what I thought it would be. Am I disappointed? Yes I am. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t. I now equate 80% of the Kenyan Vegas rugby competitions to a “Fuck Fest†where most people go under the guise of the game during the day and at night, it turns into a jungle where both species go hunting whether you are married, engaged or single. It’s a free for all.
By Belinda Adhiambo
Comments
Just for the record I did not write this article and my name is Belinda Adhiambo am fat AS YOU PUT IT , but nothing about me me is ugly, just in case am the Belinda Adhiambo your talking about anyway my self esteem in high so am not offended
This whole thing was exagerated. It sounds like a dream from Luo night out at Kagero night club. I don't believe this shit happening. "Eti nataka kukushindikisha tukajuane". How stupid can that man be? In USA?? No way!!
@ Belinda, you're article is really interesting because you found what you went to look for, SCUM! One measly, sorry piece of trash does not represent Kenyan men. Well not me. But on the flip side if I took a trip down luthuli ave, or k street and the women selling their cutchies start trying to holler, does that make all Kenyan women whores? You talk of consuming alcohol to the point of throwing up almost cancelled your trip! You're two faced! YOU CAN'T EVEN HOLD YOUR LIQUOR! I think you went there looking for a good lay and couldn't get none, otherwise how do you know about a "FUCK FEST?" I guess it was "Team Mafisi vs Team Malaya" You also drag the good sport of Rugby into your misery calling it a fuckfest, funny thing is that if something like that is going down with Kenyan men, I believe they're fucking Kenyan women so please address the Kenyan women too.
I guess it was "Team Mafisi vs Team Malaya" You also drag the good sport of Rugby into your misery calling it a fuckfest, funny thing is that if something like that is going down with Kenyan men, I believe they're fucking Kenyan women so please address the Kenyan women too.- BOOM!!!!! GOOD ONE!
Iphone G - Who are these unpolished Kenyan men you have been hanging around with? I know some fine Kenyan men who are well behaved and cool , so please lets not generalize all .KE men aka Kenyan Men. They are equally unclassy ghettoville Kenyan women too .
Iphoneg -Yenyewe hapo uko na point but again when someone is interested to court someone, its a two way street. The parameters you lay down from day one. What you will tolerate or not and that sets the stage right there . Even a Tiger van be domesticated. You can teach a man to court you :-)
I will not generalize but some Kenyan men may come off aggressive for Kenyan women but chill towards women of other cultures. It is a woman's responsibility to filter out the unnecessary and give a chance if it deserves. Some Kenyan men are nice but some, don't even go there ! On the other hand, some Kenyan women have turned out so ghetto, loud mouth, unapogetically overweight, dress cheaply from teenage shopping stores, walk in groups of 10 every weekend, drunkards and man hungry, drive sleek cars with minimum wage pay. Please, calm down. To save everyone the hussle, stay in your league! Kenyan men too, style up.
Kicheko Mob, ! Maybe "what happens in Vegas should stay in Vegas ". Of course and thank God I have never had the desire to visit these mikutanos of Vegas and the newly minted one in Boston ( not my idea of using my vacation $$$but that is just me) . Everyone goes there with their own agendas I suppose and they actually do find it. As Daktari has said, you attract what you are or "selling" heh!
Iphone G - As GM and others have said - you deserve what you get , if you go around looking like a prostitute in the name of "trying so hard to be sexy" - then of course you will be disrespected by ANY Man . If the photos of Kenyan women I have seen being displayed in facebook and other media on that Seven at Vegas is to go by , then heck I see why. unfortunately most of the women ( Kenyan and others ) have confused hollywood- sex sells in the wrong way. If you to the club looking like Myler Cyrus half naked , Beyonce, and other artists and you ain't selling albums, damn it , you will be disrespected from here to Nineveh and you can justify the look as being liberated blah but the fact i s, since time in immemorial half naked women have always been associated with prostitution/selling something.The buyer will analyse the goods accordingly. I have been around Kenyan men here in US and in Kenya in parties and other social gathering and none had the desire to "katiaring me in a crude manner . They ask , I say no and they move on with respect . It maybe I do not go looking like a hooker in those places or laying it all out there .....so lets call a spade as spade. On this entry, the writer detailed analysis leave us the reader to make our assumption and comment accordingly!
P/S Nothing glamorous about going "all black shanikwa style LOL
@Formerly Guest 2 don't waste your time with rhetoric from IPhone 4G, she's the typical example of what men are tired of. Grown men don't look for game, we look for maturity and respect, and then a woman can have all that she wants and all that she needs from man. Take the high road boss, don't get drawn into her reasoning. It seems she's still single, her biological clock is almost up no kids, no man she can call her own, that's why she's still looking for "GAME". I personally married an African American woman, got tired of the IPHONE4G type. True story, dated a Kenyan girl beautiful but unfortunately got caught up, she revealed she was HIV+,men and women don't be fooled, thousands of Kenyan wanaambukizana ukimwi " "Going to Vegas for a night out with friends" and the men as so busy saying it was an easy catch from another state, that one night of pleasure is leading to a lifetime of pain. You ask them (men and women) why they're still single, they'll blame it on "immaturity and lack of game" lakini wanajua afya yao si nzuri. Another one I dated studying for her masters in law said I wasn't good enough for her because I quit college. Fast forward we break up due to me liking casual clothes vs wearing suits as well as of my lack higher education here in the States. So one day she pays me a "surprise" visit I guess to see if anyone had moved in with me yet, I go to the kitchen to fetch her drink,( I was doing my taxes when she showed up) I come back with the drink in my hand and she's hysterical!! "Why didn't you ever tell me you made that much?" (I made 6 figures then) She goes "we could have worked things out!" Lol! Seriously? Now it's my money you're after. I was nice about it, "remember I have no " higher education here in the States, thanks ma'am but no thanks. Though I do hold a Masters in Electrical Engineering from Kenya, just that higher education here is a scam, you're left broke "living a dream, leaving a dream and dreaming a life" I thank God I've been able to open and run two successful franchise restaurants (tipping on 7 figures now) nice woman, a with no drama, truly genuine person going on to 5 years now (3 exes have tried to get me to have a love child, nimekataa kabisa, @ formerly guest 2 wacha wajikaange(both men and women) na mafuta yao,when they look up or wake up, time will be up, I'm not referring to those real women and real men who hold it down and support each other through good and bad, I have nothing but mad respect for them. They both know the "game" that's being played and choose not to be part of it.
One correction - I'm actually a girl ......:-) but will not support men bashing just for the $$$### of it . There are many good Kenyan men including my dear father, brothers , uncles , cousins etc.........
Hard for me to conceptualize this,but if it happened as the writter claims it did,someone needs serious training in dating...First of all running toward some woman you dont know might scare her.Secondly,just to catch your breath from the run might interfer with your thought pattern causing you to loose a good pick up line.Running after awoman just to tell her that you want to know her hardly works anywhere.Patience guys. Take your time to know someone,unless ofcourse the issue is about cash on delivery-of goods...
Iphone 4g, please let up alittle on your Kenyan brothers. Some actually dont know how to behave or react toward any women,let alone Kenyans. In college aKenyan fellow tried his macho approach on an american girl.He was quickly put in his place.Where he is still upto now. Sometimes we just have to learn the hardway.And the battle of the sexes continues...Kenya style.
This piece is too juicy a topic to pass up commenting on....but I have to agree with Maxiley and iPhone4G, her harshness notwithstanding. I was in Vegas 2 years ago and I can attest to "Adhis's" observations tho' my trip was to enjoy the games at Sam Boyd Stadium. I will also be the first one to admit that I have never had "game" or "swag" with the fairer sex so I stay in my lane and may NOT be the person to comment on the subject but here goes: From the on-going exchange, I get the sense that we Kenyan men are (still) having a difficult time shaking off some of our (bad) tabias from the 254 especially as it relates to interacting with the opposite sex. Our dadas, sensing a realignment/evening of the playing field; at least seeing a different dynamic between the sexes once they land "majuu" are pushing the envelope and viola -- "vitu vina anguka uko na uko" or to quote Chinua Achebe, "things fall apart", literally and figuratively. My "fiddy cents": Chill and adapt to the new dynamics -- especially if "being yourself" takes you back to tabia of 254!
Haiya@ Washington - with all your smooth Wuodha and Huffington, you have no swag/game , yawa:-) Heh!. Now I get it why you were an Oreo ha ha ha but I refuse to ackonwledge the fact that these ndugus go for dadas who are not asking for it hiyvo tuu , hata Kenya jamaas assess from a distance and know what they can handle or not handle = how one is carrying themselves. If you carry yourself as a lady, they will salivate from a distance but dare not........ that has been my observation , everyone knows their league!
FG2, your observation is correct.You have to know your league.You cannot jump into the major league from the minor one without proper "qualifications".Remember folks, if you see an attractive women,there are many other men who see her as well.Ask yourself what she would see in you before you make afool of yourself.In other words, she also has her preference,and standard to which you may miserably not measure upto...
As for the dadas, if you carry yourself as a slut, men will treat you as one.And the battle continues...
Btw formerly guest2, you will always have asoft spot in my heart...:)
'@ Maxiley - ahsante for having that softness, lakini this flirting you and I letad "shida" :-)sana even matusi were thrown here /disrespect , so going forward we tone it down lest I'm mistaken for selling something I'm not heh! LOL!.
Wewe wacha...utafanya nitoke retirement! Balaa! Matusi ilianza kwako na kiitaliano...I never initiate I retaliate. Boss! Don't take mwakilishi too serious...I could be a gacungwa for all u know ;-).
Shida, the thought of you being gacungwa,would tramatize alot of folks... not from the macho way you come across on mwakilishi.
vipi bratha? mimi niko poa....tunasaka doh tu....tuko nduthis lakini sio ndethes... Boss! I really like the naivety of FG2 but I LOVE the boldness of Iphones4G. ME LUV Iphones4G
Iam sorry for the insults. Certainly that was un intended out come. All I can say is that the insults must have been as a result of someone being left out .You realize that I have softened lately.But still have to remind you of the soft spot lest you forget :)
Iphone4g, now you are talking. Helping them out is the way to go.Some will listen to you and benefit,and there are always those with kichwa ngumu that wont ,and are then doomed to repeat the same mistakes.See dating, or talking to women.or men for that matter is akin to manners(good manners). They dont come automatically,or inate .We learn them. That's why I said earlier that some of your Kenyan brothers dont actually know how to talk to women.As surprising as it is to you, it is true.It is askill to be learned,and Iam glad that you have given them some pointers.You have done well sister...
@FGM....."thiga na naniye" or is it "dikweda maudu ma igwe"? Basi your comment had me cracking up...So since you read the "Oreo" story in WUODHA, you must have read the one about the time my then-3 year old son and I were waiting for the valet after dinner. Suffice to say, being in the public domain is a double-edged sword lol. On a serious and side note, thanks for the support and feedback...It's much appreciated.
@ Washington - it is "tigana nanie ama Ndikwenda Maundu miaingi- :-). You are welcome on the support of your literature, when is the sequel and this time less politics aka Kikuyu , luo thingy :-)))
Osiro, I dont know if this is intended to be humoruos,or just a faux pas? May be its just my mind. When I saw-FGM,what came to my mind is -female genitalia mutilation...Iam pretty sure you meant FG2.But I am open to correction...
@Maxiley...good catch...total faux pas.....I meant FG2. Asante sana for pointing my mistake.
Hey, Osiro, you are one of my favorites,and I did not want your" enemies" to capitolize no this faux pas,and make it what it's not...:) For example some would think your mind was in - should I say certain state of mind... You get the drift.
If you are just figuring out that the "vegas experience" is all but one adult fest then you are a johny-come-too-late to the party.
It has been like that from day 1. Same thing goes for the Atlanta thanksgiving party, DC labor day weekend, Jersey memorial... name it and it is most likely to be a f**k fest.
What you consider to be disrespect, is pick up line that works n 10 other women/girls. Coz, gues what, you turned those guys down but I can guarantee you they hooked up with someone else before you made it to you room. And talking about respect - men/boys will only get away with what ladies allow them to get away with. We now live in a world where " sasa, unataka?" is considered a romantic gesture.
I don't do Vegas and I have no regrets.
What I mean is , there are women who love the whole idea of guys stepping up to them like the guy in the story.
Is it right or correct? Hell no.
But that is what tickles their fancy. And guess what, there are alot of kenyan chics who are in that category.
They are probably not going to be here speaking on thier likes. But they are there, that guy probably hooked up with some of them.
But until women learn to push back it aint gonna change
one gals poison is another gals joy. Just sayin.
The fisis exist because malayas exist
@FG2: I only wish you knew the circumstances under which I learnt the expressions "leave me alone" and "I don't want a lot of words (?)" -- tigana nanie/ Ndikwenda Maundu miaingi -- and who I was with! Good times...I mean bloody good times!! Basi re: my next book, 2 others, co-written with my son are already out (for kids 6+years) and the 3rd in the series is 1-2months away. In response to your feedback, I reviewed the manuscript for WUODHA and found the following: (1) The words "Luo", "Dholuo", "Kikuyu" and/or "Gikuyu" appear 90 times in a 78,865 worded document, (2) Tribalism is covered in Ch. 5, a 6,135-worded chapter -- out of 17 total chapters.(3) I cite 13 different books including "Not Yet Uhuru" and "Facing Mt. Kenya" to formulate Ch. 5. Having said all this, your feedback is duly noted and very much appreciated. The follow-up to WUODHA is almost done so stay tuned. Again, thank you so much for your support and feedback...
@ Washington -Heh, I probably do not want to know why those tough kyuk words were used on you lol:-) On the new books , I will definitely get one for my household - Malo's adventure - plus March is reading month , this should add to your list. Ahsante. Okay I shall await for the sequel as long as it is not too political heh but knowing you, what are the odds :-)
Good work on the kids books , this is wonderful for our kids who criss cross the two continents all the time - a great sense of identity .... looking forward to reading the series
Washington, why does WUODHA read like two separate books?
there seems (to me) to be a whole section missing between the time u r hooking up with some chick whom undescribe in iver 2 paragraphs and the next chapter when u have a kid.....
i hope your next books are not of the same format.
Sorry i was left wanting
@Iphone4G- I agree with alot of your comments esp...its a 2 way street. I think u blame men tooo much though. I think were both to blame "It takes two to tango!"........nuff said....... Kuna mtu aliniamsha kutoka "retirement". Kwaherini ---back to Gicagi. Boss! Balaa!
@iphone4G...lemme come outta retirement 4 the LAST time to explain my prev statement "IT TAKES 2 TO TANGO". I used to roll with different cliques way back...I have seen the same chick come out of both my buddies bedroom---the jamaa's dont know each other---I then end up in a predicament being loyal to both at the same time I dont wanna be involved. Hell nimeoma hata mabibi wa wenyewe wakifanya vituko. Go easy on jamaa's. XOXO. SHIDA!
@FG2: Those "tough Kyuk words" were lyrics to a song by an inebriated "kalinga-linga-linga" musician during a visit to Ngandu Girls back in the days....Good times with even better friends. I would love to send your household autographed copies of Malo's Amazing Adventures! if you don't mind. So my next book has been described as Americanah from a man's perspective:-) I will keep you posted. So you know: You, MLACHAKE, Shida, Fafanua (?), iPhone4G and 2 others whose names I forget have given me a lot to think about over the last 1+ year re: my views/writing so thank you.
@Mke ya123: You nailed it...WUODHA does read like 2 books and not to be flippant, the mark of a decent story-teller is "to leave them wanting more"...Thanks for the support and feedback -- very much appreciated.
@Osiro - Autographed copies would be most welcome . You do paypal ? I will send you my info on your Facebook.
I'm in love with iphones4G
Bullshit! She went to Vegas on a hunt and dint get a good one! So don't call off on all Kenyan men. There are good ones and as for the women unless they call it shots... Men can't force on them. Stop portraying our Kenyan men in this disgusting way. If you haven't noticed Kenyan women are very powerful and well spoken just like you in this article. So let's be fair and play it safe. You go to Vegas for whatever reasons and eventual for fun. If you don't achieve your fun don't blame it on others.
I feel you Belinda. Those incidents happen in select joins in Vegas. You just have to hang around where intelligent men hang. I never sat at those slot machines in my entire stay in Vegas as ''passing time'' as you sound to have done with your friends. Those are places you don't meet people you can engage in serious talks. My going to Vegas was and is always to network and unwind. I met very intelligent people, men and women of class. We didn't just exchange numbers but business cards too. Being your first time, I understand. Don't quit visiting Vegas, just quit hanging where liquor is free (at the slot machines).
While you were fighting with those you call ''fisis'', we were all networking atop the Stratosphere and Mandarin. Don't worry, we all have our first times.
Ok I'm Belinda Adhiambo but I did not even go to Vegas so it's either someone is using my name or just another Belinda Adhiambo coz that's a popular name
You talk about vegas but dont mention any rugby at all..... lol. you dont have to visit vegas during the rugby season is open 24/7 365 days .
Ive attended all the sevens in vegas and never been disrespected whether with my guy or not so dont paint kenyan guys with a broad brush.They really are some very nice kenyans out there.
Im not saying people dont abuse the opportunity after all vegas is Sin City and what happens there stays there but I can speak for my self and say that, I go for the game and the great atmosphere at Sam Boyd, after the game, I limit my self to one kenyan party get a group of friends and buy a table that way you dont line up, Hit old vegas, take in a show or two and if you have the energy check out the insane daytime pool parties. thats my sevens. No team mafisi biz if you know what your doing
This Belinda Adhiambo is very fat and ugly-very ugly. Before you belittle Kenyan men, first pay attention to what you put into your mouth.